Parents in the later years of their lives might one day realize that the relationship they once had with their children is not as strong as it once was. When your children are young, they depend on you, and look up to you. As they get older, they begin gaining their own hobbies, friends, achievements, and views on the world. This can feel like they are drifting further and further away from you until one day they fly the nest. While some parents may be able to easily maintain the relationship they once had with their kids, for most, it’s something that needs consistent work. Of course, you still love one another, but the bond needs maintenance. This is all the more important as you age, as it’s very easy to lose touch with loved ones and live in isolation. Let’s take a look at how you can maintain a strong relationship with your children:

Make An Effort With Their Families

If you want to maintain a strong relationship with your children, making an effort with their families is key. Take an interest in their partner, children, pets – everybody. Remember birthdays, and try to build relationships with them, too. They have their own families, and you know how important family will be to them. Make their entire family important to you, and show you care. 

Listen To Them

Listening to your children may not come naturally, but it’s essential if you want them to be able to talk to you and relate to you. When they are grown, you are no longer the parent who needs to guide them. It’s not your job to lecture and nag them, especially if they are not asking you for help and advice. You may not be able to see their point of view, but listening to them without judgement is key. Have a back and forth conversation, rather than simply telling them how to live their lives. 

Show An Interest In Their Hobbies and Interests 

Show an interest in their hobbies and interests – they might even invite you to give them a try yourself, and this could be a fantastic bonding experience. 

Don’t Be Afraid To Ask your adult children  For help

If you need help, ask for it. Show your appreciation if they do help you. Acknowledge that they may have gone out of their way to help you. Make sure you know when you might need more help than they can give by looking into  live in care and other options. If they have their own lives and families, caring for you full time will be very taxing. It is also important to maintain your own friendships and try to make new friends as you get older.

Keep Boundaries Secure

Boundaries are a must for strong relationships with your kids. Avoid personal questions that they may not want to answer. If they want to open up to you in this way, trust that they will. Don’t pry. 

Show your vulnerability

It can be tough to be vulnerable, especially with our own kids. However, showing your emotion and compassion will encourage them to show theirs. Have empathy for them, and see things from their point of view. Vulnerable relationships where both parties are authentic are always the strongest kind.

Last year, like many people I found it more difficult than usual to maintain family bonds. We were unable to travel to meet up with our son who lives in London or visit our eldest disabled son who lives in a care home. It is difficult when you can’t just invite your children to stay for a few days or arrange a family holiday.  I found it all too easy to be absorbed in day to day struggles and ignore the bigger picture. The strange times we lived through made me realise the importance of family ties and resolve to do more to strengthen them.

(collaborative post)